Mark Of A Man

4. Patient & Kind

Marks of a Godly man, Part 4; Patient & Kind
1 Cor. 13:4-7; Gal 5:22; 1 Pet 5:5-6; James 3:13; Romans15:1; 2 Cor. 13:8; James 1:19; 2 Peter 1:3

These two marks are good indicators of a godly man but are the most easily mistaken marks if they are all you consider. You may hear someone say that a man is really kind and is very patient. Some men are considered patient and kind if they don’t react to something or don’t make a decision. Maybe it is the no direction guy or the religious guy just being nice. A man being kind in their flesh is a natural man being kind, but this does not make him godly. If a Christian is being kind in their flesh this does not make him godly either. It is not uncommon for a man to appear patient to get what he wants, in particular if that means he is earning your attention.

The inner working of the Holy Spirit in a man is what makes the difference. That working only comes by one way. Let him show these marks by his good behavior by his deeds done in humility that come from wisdom. There is only one place that this wisdom comes from and it shows in a man’s life. God has given us everything we need, by his divine power for life and godliness through our knowledge of him. The evidence of that power working in you is when you can be patient and kind as a mark of your character.

The two marks go as a pair not easily separated. You typically don’t see someone who is patient and unkind. The marks of being patient and kind indicate that he has some understanding of who God is and who we are as people. He does not have unreal expectations of life but a basic understanding that all things pass thru God hands before they come to us, therefore allowing us to react patiently and kindly in situations and that we will treat other with patience and not be harsh. The godly man knows he and others are made in that image of God, and he has to bear with the failing of the weak.

Don’t be confused, here is what it looks like in everyday life…Here is how it works out….
If your patient just to get what you want…..your just working to get your way.
He is not envious of others…envy does not look or sound good.
He does not need to brag about himself or who he knows….it is insecurity leaking out.
He is not rude in conversations or actions….this is just a bad display.
He is not seeking everything for himself…..it is all about me.
He is not short fused, thin skinned, temper mental, touchy…. just hard to be around.
He does not point out or bring up everybody’s mistakes or weaknesses or yours.
A godly man does not need to point out the negatives…..they are obvious and painful.
A patient man does not need to take advantage of someone’s weakness.
He protects others, does not slander or gossip.
He does not seek to embarrass others.
A godly man is patient in any situation (with exception of sin, bleeding, breathing and shock) and lets it play out—this way he doesn't make a rushed (impatient) decision or respond with an unkind comment or action.
He is not suspicious, but is always trusting. The truth always comes out. This way his reactions are always genuine and his actions are based on the truth given. He is then operating on truth, if it is not the truth is just won’t work. Patience is required.

The best display for measure is someone who is quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to get angry...sounds like James 1:19… If he or you don’t have it, there is work to do.
Galatians 5:22 talks about these marks, these are described as the Fruit of the Spirit, they come from the Spirit thru the godly man, they cannot come from a man who does not know God. Don’t be fooled, these are two marks that are part of a package, they help indicate what is in him or you.

-Ron
 

3. Keeps His Word

Matthew 5:33-37; Matt 15:18; Eph 4:25; 2 Cor. 1:20; James 3:1-12; James 5:12
Our words are tied to our character, if character is the root of the tree, then our words are its fruit. You may not be a tree expert, but you can usually tell the kind of tree by its fruit. This mark is an invisible one, but an obvious one. The godly man speaks the truth and keeps his word, his yes is yes and his no is no. It is the one mark people can easily recognize, is he good for his word? Not keeping your word shows the signs of a double mind and there is another motive; There was something else in mind other than the words that were spoken. We are not talking about the circumstances that take out of a person’s control his ability to keep his word. This circumstance will be easily explained with the truth. If there are too many of these circumstances, something is wrong, or you are listening to a present day Job. The man keeps his word because God is the truth and keeps his word. This character mark lets you know the kind of man you are dealing with.

You won’t hear wishful or foolish talk about things as to this and that is what we will do, but you know he will not do them. He may plan or desire to do certain things, but his words are intentional. His word is good, not wishful—maybe this and maybe that---it leaves too much room for the un intentional-“I was just talking” or “I didn’t really mean it”-to open ended of a conversation leads to projected expectations and disappointment. If he is always swearing that this is true, you are always suspicious;Too much promise and no reality, sets up poor expectations and discouragement.

If he says he will be there at a certain time, he should be there. If he says he will do something then he should do it. You should not get the feeling that he just got caught.

Consider the following:

No making excuses.
No profanity.
No expressions of disgust.
No faithless comments.
Says what he means, means what he says.
Not defensive when asked what he said.
No convenient words for the moment just to get by.

No man can tame the tongue, it causes everyone a lot of trouble, but that which comes out of the heart shows what is in the heart. A man will not be perfect in this mark, but it is important that he is far along in the maturing process. What words are you hearing? If he is not good for his word, you are listening to the wrong man.

-Ron

2. Can Explain His Faith

John 14:26; 1 Corinthians 2:10-16
The man of God should be able to talk freely about what he believes as easily as he talks about his car, sports team or his computer. It is not difficult to talk about what is important to you, unless it is not really important.
He can explain his faith (what he believes about God that is true), because he understands what God has freely given him, because he has His Spirit. He can explain his faith, not in human wisdom but he can explain spiritual truths with spiritual words. This is his word of his testimony to what God has done and is doing in his life. You can have wrong faith- to believe something that is not true. To explain something that is not true, it just won’t make any real sense. Consider the following:

• He can explain how he became a Christian.
• He can freely talk about what he believes.
• He can explain why his faith is important.
• He can explain it in simple understandable terms.
• He can talk about his faith without embarrassment.
• He can explain what he is learning from the Word and how he is applying it.
• He can give a reason for the hope that is in him.
• He avoids faithless comments.

This talking should not be a painful process for him to talk about his faith, it should be an encouragement to your faith. This is an important part of a growing and lasting relationship. These continuing conversations are life long and necessary. If his faith is not important, it is time move on, let him mature.
-Ron

1. Reads The Word

1. Reads the Word.
Heb 4:12-13, “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

2 Pet 1:3-20, “ His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires….”

2 Timothy 3:16-17, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

It is not that the man of God is reading the Word to enter a theological seminary or become the next great evangelist, even though we need one. It takes the Word of God to cut through the blur of messages from the ipod, cell phone, text message and email, let alone our own wandering thoughts and personal excuses for everything we think or do.

The man of God reads God’s word because he knows it as the authority over his own thoughts, intentions and actions. It will reveal the truth about his thoughts and intentions no matter what he wants them to be. He sees the Word as his authority and submits to it for instruction and correction. The Word sees through all his own justifications and reminds him of his heart attitudes. It provides the foundation of knowing God’s character and he keeps himself humble before his maker. He will submit to the truth, not just his own wisdom or the wisdom of the world.

He will not easily follow your input either, he will consider it, but he will do what the Lord leads him to do, confirmed in the Word. He knows that the Word gives him instruction and direction. This should be his guiding force in relationships.

-Ron

5 Marks to Start

What makes a godly man? Is it that he acts like Christian (religious guy) or that he is a Christian, and Christ is in him and it shows. He will have some godly traits, that we will refer to as marks, things you can identify… clues so you won’t be fooled…so you won’t feel or hear the words of the old diet Pepsi commercial, ”you have chosen poorly.”

No man is perfect, but there should be godly marks that indicate the core of a man. There are certain core marks that have to be in him. He may be a kind and patient man but if he is not a Christian, he cannot be a godly man. Do not be fooled by a few mimicked marks- don’t listen to “he is really kind and caring”, maybe he has good training, common sense or an easy personality, if he is not a Christian, do not look there. Choosing to ignore the marks only leads to the poor choice-you choose to accept.

These marks should help you avoid this partial list of “I was tempted to date the…”
The nice guy with no real faith, it won’t be nice for long –the flesh takes over.
The religious guy with no real core traits-the “other” core comes out at test time.
The pretty boy who is looking for “arm candy” to make him look good.
The bad boy who needs reforming and reforming and reforming.
The no direction guy who just won’t make a move in any direction-it’s too risky.

God has your best in mind, do you believe that-If you are looking for that godly man -prepare.

Here are the marks:
Reads the Word.
Can explain his faith.
Keeps his word.
Patient and Kind
Self Control

All of these marks appear in a godly man, they may be ‘in process ‘ in his personal growth, but one should not be obviously missing. You either recognize them in the person you choose or you will be the recipient of the opposite side of these marks.

These traits are not just something he practices for show, to compete for you. They are a consistent part of his core character, because Christ is in him. Seeing these marks will help you know how you would be treated in a relationship. You also will need to have these traits in yourself in order to recognize them.

To be continued: What these marks look like in real life everyday.

Ron

A Real Good Place to Start

Howdy, and welcome to the first entry of the "How not to date the guy I want to date, but who I will severely regret having dated no less than 24-48 hours after we agonizingly and inevitably break up" blog, or as a guy would call it, the "How not to date a total jerk" blog. Our hope in this blog is to provide you with some insight (mixed with inane soliloquy) into how to identify the right type of guy through certain clues he gives. It is not necessarily about his external affinities, i.e., sports, ranching, mechanics, computers, music, pizza consumption, etc..., but rather it is more about what resides at his core.

When I was dating, and I suppose even now, it drove me crazy when a nice girl would date the wrong guy. She didn't know it at the time, but she certainly learned it down the road. The main problem has always been the same, namely the guy did not truly walk with God, but the manifestations differed. There was the "bad guy" that the girl was certain she could reform, there was the "pretty boy" who was quite concerned with his appearance but little else, and there was the "religious guy" who knew all the "holy" things to say and was typically cool to boot. Inasmuch as they all present their own quandaries, it seems like girls get duped more with the "religious guy", whereas the other two types, in all honesty, were personal and intentional choices of the girl. So it is important for the well-intentioned gal to watch out for this guy. In truth, there is quite a difference between a true follower of God and the "religious guy", but that difference is not always readily apparent on the outside. In fact, often times the "religious guy" looks more "Christian" than the more mature believer. But, don't be fooled, stay in the word of God and in prayer, and consider what mature believers counsel, and you will have discernment as to who is real. The true Christian man is not tame, nor is he "safe" in the sense of doing what everyone else does, instead he seeks his God alone, who is neither "safe" nor tame. So hold on, true adventure belongs only to the Christian, and when you find such a man (and we will do our best to help) you will never be satisfied with "bad", "pretty" or "religious" again. It should be interesting...

Lance